Salseros that Scare Me
I don’t blacklist anyone, per se, because I really like to dance. Also, I’ve had great dances with some men and then danced with them on other nights where we just couldn’t connect at all. Such is life, so is the dance. So, unless you are consistently bad time and time again, I’ll give you a few chances. I also haven’t been dancing for years and years, so I’m not salsera extraordinaire!
However, the salseros that scare me (or just plain annoy me and make me not enjoy dancing with them):
1. The guy who wants to just show off with you after watching you dance really well with another partner. He grabs you and spins you a zillion times from the first 5 and never stops after that…C’MON! I need at least a second to transition to your energy from his. All men dance differently!!! I need to transfer from his style to yours and it takes more than half an 8 count! Maybe the really advanced women can, but I’m not here to compete. I want you to look good, don’t worry! I want to look good too, but I also want to have fun. If you want perfection from word go, stay on the competitive circuit and stop social dancing.
2. Guys who try to lead you into a move that they decide they don’t want to do at the last minute. Then they apologize and say, that was my fault…I screwed up that lead. No sh*t! But what about nearly pulling my arm out of it’s socket when you did that?
3. The salsero who says he wants to TRY to show you this new move he just learned…um…if you have to try, maybe we should wait until you CAN. (I’m all for learning something new, don’t get me wrong. I just want to know I can trust you not to hurt me.)
4. I’m human, I screw up. Don’t yell at me or act like the rest of the dance is agony for you.
5. I’m all for constructive criticism…but if you tell me that 70% of the women you dance with do the same thing I just did that you don’t like or think is a mistake…maybe it’s you and not me.
I get bumped into people a lot. I get stepped on a lot. I take this as just a part of dancing on a crowded floor, even if someone is supposed to be watching out for me. You never know what the couple behind you is going to do, or if they are as careful. But…I want to know that I’m safe in your arms. Please understand my vulnerability and that I will dance better if you treat me like I’m the most precious thing in your world for the few moments we are dancing. We’ll have so much more fun.