March 23, 2008
Salsa Blacklist – Why salsero dancers get blacklisted and what to do about it.
It’s the same story anywhere you go. As a salsero, at almost every Latin party, I find that there are one, two, or even three salseras that come to me asking to be "rescued".
A beautiful salsera walks quickly towards me and sits down next to me, leans over and says one of three things:
1. "Quick! Act like you are going to ask me to dance"
2. "Act like you’re my boyfriend"
3. "Make believe we are busy talking."
Salsera, "See that guy over there behind you? He’s about to ask me to dance, but I don’t want to! "
Its a cry of desperation. These salseras have put certain salseros on a blacklist. And for good reason.
Most of the salseros are nice guys, but the women just want to run away.
"The guy is too rough!"
Guys, when you are leading the girl, do NOT be too rough! Be gentle! Girls do NOT like it when they feel like their arms are going to be ripped out of their sockets!
What’s more, it can be dangerous. Women are not ragdolls for you to throw around.
Here are some signs that you are too rough.
1. You find yourself constantly pulling the girl around.
2. You find yourself constantly pushing the girl too much.
3. You feel like the girl can’t follow you. Let me rephrase that "You think all the women you dance with suck, because they can’t follow you."
4. You find that she is constantly off balance.
5. You find that women seem to run away from you when you are walking towards them.
6. You find that the women who’s run away from you leans over to some other guy (most likely to be rescued.)
7. You find that the guy she just talked to, tries to discretely look around the room! (That’s a big tipoff there)
8. The women you just danced with is rubbing her arms like they are sore.
Look for these signs! If you see some or all of these signs, you may be on a salsa blacklist! Kindly ask the salsera who’s run away an honest opinion about your dancing.
"I’m trying to improve my dancing and want to know how well I’m leading. Am I too rough when I lead you?"
Then you can ask her to dance and ask for feedback as you dance with her so you can adjust your lead.
And please.. For the love of God and all the salseras. If you aren’t really sure if you are leading properly, or if the salseras keep running away from you. Take a private lesson to learn how to lead without being rough!
Here’s a list of miscellaneous stuff that may put you on the list. These are difficult for the offender, because you probably don’t know its a problem unless someone tells you.
1. Wet noodles. There’s also the opposite problem where guys are considered "wet noodles" who use no tension what so ever in their lead.
2. No timing/Leading late The best followers can follow the worst leaders, but a majority of people don’t like it when you have no timing. It means that neither of you are feeling or following the music.
3. Ambiguous leads. Avoid ambiguous leads by making your intentions clear. Don’t continuously move your handles in large circular motions when you dance. The follower will have no idea where to go and what to do. Move with a purpose.
4. Bumper cars. Look out for your lady to keep her from bumping into people on the dance floor. It’s your job to keep her safe. She is following you and needs to completely trust you. It’s not going to happen if she ends up crashing into people all the time.
What do you think puts salseros on a salsa blacklist?
How about the girls? What puts them on a salsa blacklist?
What are some of the signs that someone might be on a blacklist?
Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page…
Things that put girls on my salsa black list
Here is a list of things that put girls on my salsa black list. Selfish: dances only with the absolute best dancers, turns down anyone else. Cannot …
Things that Put a Woman on the Salsa Blacklist
As a man, these are the items that put a woman on the salsa blacklist: 1) Absolutely horrible timing 2) Halitosis (bad breath) 3) Bad overall body odor …
Salsa Blacklist – Cont
Misc Salsero Problems: Practicing new moves in a social context-Trying new moves without prior practice is a NO NO. Find a practice partner …
Salseros that Scare Me
I don’t blacklist anyone, per se, because I really like to dance. Also, I’ve had great dances with some men and then danced with them on other nights …
Girls on the Blacklist
Believe black listing of other dancers is not a one way street, the leads do it too and you might be surprised to know that we do far much more than the …
I would rather dance with a gentleman who doesn’t dance that well, than dance with a very good dancer that is only asking me to dance when the queens of …
Arren, You hit the nail on the head. Sometimes a male dancer can know many moves and even have good rhythm, but if they are leading TOO roughly, …
Things that will get you on my list quick….
1. I absolutely hate it when a woman ask me what I dance on. It drives me BONKERS! I so want to tell them “I dance on beat”, but my southern up bringing …
The Salsa Connection
I am so glad you are writing about this!! It’s really important for people to be aware that the connection between dancers is a wonderful/beautiful art …
DustToDawn…..Why saleros get black listed
A clear example of why us salseras might not want to dance and might want to put a salsero on the black list might be for the following reasons: If …