Girls on the Blacklist

by Chris
(Putnam, CT US)

Believe black listing of other dancers is not a one way street, the leads do it too and you might be surprised to know that we do far much more than the ladies.

Reasons:

Too self-conscious and self-deprecating: You ask a girl to dance and she begins to apologize about not being good enough, not being a profressional etc You bring the energy level down before the dance even begins. Stop it, its not attractive. If i ask you to dance, its on me if you can't dance, besides by the time guys ask you, they may have already scoped you out. When you begin to give desclaimers as to why i am to expect a lousy experience, i just want to walk and never come back.

Weak-frame:

when you hold her hands its like you're holding overcooked spaghetti. Salsa is built on a connection between lead and follow, so connect damn it. You can see I'm not a fan of the weak, namby pamby, sloppy frame.

Too rigid a frame making it seem as if i'm dancing with a log. These types usually have a propensity to do their own thing, turn in a direction that makes sense to them as opposed to where i am leading. A heavy follow has nothing to do with the girl's weight or body structure, it has to do with a tendency to be rough and insensitive to the lead. Get it right or you will be watching the dance from the periphery. I'm trying to dance and not get a hernia in the process.

When a guy you've never danced with asks you to dance, don't try and divine by any external features whether or not you think he can dance. Give him a chance because what usually happens is that you decline and then you see him dance with someone else and now you are open to dance with him, only he (ego) has blacklisted you. It happens more often than one would realize.

Another thing: you ask a girl to dance and she says no and the next moment she is dancing with someone else, chances are that she will not be asked again. Without planning on sanctioning girls who do this I have found that I have absolutely no interest in dancing with them. I'd rather dance with a 500 pound beginner. There is a girl I blacklisted like that and even when she asked me, I found myself saying something lame like, sorry I'm tired maybe the next song.

I'm amazed that sometimes the fullblood, A list salseras are the most gracious, then you get some B- Salsera copping an attitude...please!